When I told people our daughter nursed 7 hours straight on the second day, they thought I was exaggerating.
I wasn’t.
Our daughter woke up at 5 a.m. and breastfed until noon. I read a book of short stories and then watched the entire first season of Selena on Netflix.
A lactation nurse showed up a couple of hours after that. She said she could hear our daughter crying before she even walked in the door and insisted our baby was hungry.
I told the lactation nurse I just tried nursing her and she didn’t want to latch. I told her my daughter likely wasn’t hungry because she nursed 7 HOURS STRAIGHT.
She told me I was wrong.
I was exhausted and wanted to tell this woman to leave.
WHO DID SHE THINK SHE WAS?
Well, I was wrong, or at least unprepared, hormonal, and felt like Gollum from Lord of the Rings.
Once I relaxed and realized the lactation nurse was there to help me, I felt more prepared. She showed me how to breastfeed like a mama orangutan and it instilled in me the confidence I needed to continue.
Now don’t get me wrong, the first 3-4 weeks aren’t easy and I was on the brink of stopping breastfeeding multiple times, but now I had some helpful tips I could use to get me through the rough days and nights.
It is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to tackle in my life. Contrary to popular belief, breastfeeding is a skill both mother and baby have to learn.
My obstetricians did not discuss breastfeeding with me during any of my prenatal visits. Everything I knew about breastfeeding was from the internet, my mom, and a friend. At the hospital, a lactation nurse visited the following morning after our little one was born, but she immediately went into suggesting specialists for a tongue tie (ankyloglossia).
It would have been more helpful if she had counseled me on what to expect when breastfeeding.
Tongue tie is real and a quick procedure for infants, however, I had no issue breastfeeding the first day after our daughter was born. She latched on like a champ and nursed like a pro. Her father and I did not think she was tongue-tied.
Breastfeeding is a learning curve involving two people and a complex set of behaviors that are completely new to both of them.
The lactation consultant I saw at home wasn’t concerned at all about our baby being tongue-tied. When we saw our daughter’s pediatrician, he told us she wasn’t tongue-tied.
“If it (breastfeeding) hurts, you’re doing it wrong.”
I think this phrase is a load of crap and misleading to mothers everywhere who are seriously struggling to breastfeed. It is perfectly normal for your nipples to be sore for the first couple of weeks.
However, if the pain continues or is unbearable after two weeks, you may want to seek out a lactation consultant again and/or speak with your OB-GYN.
Breastfeeding really, really hurts. You’re newborn is nursing from your nipples for hours at a time. Of course, they may become red, blistering, and raw. If you’ve ever played guitar, then you know the tips of your fingers will build callouses after a few weeks, which will then relieve a lot of the initial pain.
After a couple of weeks, you and your nipples will be tougher.
Until that happens, read on to try some of these nursing tools to help you through this often, excruciating journey.
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1. DRIP-DROP FEEDING
- Drip-drop feeding encourages babies to nurse at the breast. I used this method as the main tool to get my infant to get a good latch, especially during the first week.
- Think of mothers in the animal kingdom and how their nipples are dripping with milk.
- First, you want to try expressing your breast milk until your nipples are dripping with your milk. Once my milk came in on the 3rd night, I expressed my own breastmilk and continued to do so for a month until my baby and I became breastfeeding pros.
- If your milk has not come in yet, you can use formula (don’t worry! It’s just a little bit.) I had samples of formula Enfamil had sent me. You make a small bottle of formula and drip some onto your nipples.
- However, I do want to mention I probably wouldn’t have started my little one on formula if I wasn’t sent unsolicited samples from Enfamil, but that is a discussion for another day.
- If you are hard-bent on strictly breastfeeding and do not think you have the willpower to stop yourself from making a bottle of formula when you’re exhausted and in excruciating pain, donate the samples.
I’m not going to sugarcoat it. Breastfeeding could be the most painful experience you’ve ever been through, but for me, the pain went away after about a month. However, it was one of the longest months of my life.
The most important thing is that a fed baby is a healthy baby, but if I had had support and been informed beforehand, I would have strictly breastfed. On the other hand, my daughter easily took to a bottle. I breastfed and bottled-fed (breastmilk or formula), and our daughter did not notice any difference or at least didn’t care.
The problem is supply. I only replaced one nursing session with a bottle of formula and my supply decreased.
FUN FACT: An orangutan has the longest breastfeeding experience. The mother breastfeeds for SEVEN YEARS and her infant is always attached to her body.
2. Make sure your child has a good latch.
- I thought our daughter had a good latch. The first time I breastfed her, I thought she was a champ and this breastfeeding thing would be easy. The second and third days proved me oh so wrong.
- If your newborn is sucking on your nipple, it’s not a good latch. It’s called breastfeeding, not nipple feeding. Your baby should have a good portion of the areola in their mouth.
- Pretend you’re holding a sandwich with one hand, now rotate your wrist so your thumb and palm are facing up. Squeeze your breast, around the areola, pointing your nipple upward. Once your baby opens their mouth wide, gently but quickly bring their head to your breast, and flop that breast sandwich in there. You’re unfolding the nipple into their mouth.
- If you’re feeling discomfort or cluster feeding left your nipples cracked and bleeding, try using nipple shields. They’re inexpensive and our daughter had no problem nursing from them. I had to stop nursing on my right breast for about a week because our daughter sucked the tip of my nipple off by the 3rd day. My right breast never produced enough milk after that. If I had the nipple shields sooner, I would have been able to still nurse on that breast without pain. Nipple shields were the main reason I stuck with breastfeeding.
If you’re experiencing painful symptoms, check out my post on BOOBIE SELF-CARE.
3. Get your newborn to open wide
- Drip some formula onto your nipples or express your own milk.
- Gently stroke your baby’s upper and lower lip with your nipple, and pause to let them open their mouth wide.
- Aim your nipple above your baby’s top lip and try a few times until her mouth is wide enough to create a good latch.
4. What is Cluster Feeding and is it Normal?
- In the article, Ensuring Breastfeeding Success, nurse practitioner and certified lactation consultant, Julie Bouchet-Horwitz, says “Cluster feeding is quite common the night before the milk comes in,” but it may also happen during growth spurts. After that 7-hour breastfeeding marathon on the 3rd day, my milk came in that night.
- I was concerned she was feeding back to back because I didn’t have an adequate supply but in the first few days, you have to remember your milk supply hasn’t even come in yet. Your body is producing Colostrum. It’s the perfect food for your newborn, but she may nurse more frequently on Days 2 and 3.
- During cluster feeding, just remember this is not a race. Breastfeeding is a marathon. Drink lots of water and eat, eat, eat. I always had fruit, nuts, and cheese handy and my wonderful boyfriend would make me a simple charcuterie board.
You don’t have to get fancy. This is to fuel your body, not for a breastfeeding party.
5. Pumping
- Buy a pumping bra! This thing was a game-changer and I wish I started using it from the get-go. It’s adjustable, fit like a glove, and most importantly, freed my hands so I didn’t have to be glued to one spot.
- I was not one of those moms that would wake up to pump, but I wish I had or at least pumped immediately after a nursing session when she only used the second breast as a top-off. I became engorged, leaked all over, and was wasting precious breastmilk.
- My milk supply also dropped since I wasn’t doing anything to empty my breasts. I know. You’re exhausted and the last thing you want to do is pump after a nursing in the middle of the night. Even her pediatrician said pumping was like doing double duty and not to bother, but engorgement is painful and I woke up anyway because I leaked breastmilk all over the bed.
- Keep your pumping bra and pump by your bed so you have it right there. I wish I had kept a mini fridge next to me so I didn’t have to go downstairs at all. I didn’t see great reviews on the smaller mini-fridges, but this Lekebaby Breast Milk Cooler Bag actually looks promising. It’s also more affordable.
Prior to breastfeeding, I had no idea what to expect. I knew it didn’t always come naturally to mother and child, but I didn’t expect the pain that ensued. I didn’t know what cluster feeding was, or Colostrum, and that it was okay for your newborn to nurse like an insatiable beast before your milk came in.
Feel free to comment below on any helpful tips you used or any information you wish you had known BEFORE beginning your breastfeeding journey.