This post may contain affiliate links, which means I’ll receive a commission if you purchase through my link, at no extra cost to you. Please read full disclosure here.
If you’re ready to tackle this challenge, read on for essential tips to stop breastfeeding at night and help your child sleep better. Take it from an experienced mom who nursed for 13 months and had enough.
I used all these tips to stop breastfeeding when I decided to night wean our daughter.
You are going to learn about all the tips to stop breastfeeding from settling techniques to staying calm when your child is inconsolable.
After learning about these breastfeeding tips, you will be more prepared when you decide to stop nursing at night.
This post is about tips to stop breastfeeding in the middle of the night so you, your partner, and your child can finally sleep.
WHEN TO STOP NURSING
The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) updated its recommendations in June 2022 and recommends mothers should exclusively breastfeed for 6 months and continue to do so as solids are introduced. The updated report now supports breastfeeding for two years and beyond due to continued research proving the benefits of breastfeeding past a year old, as long as it serves both mother and child.
Weaning will begin naturally when solids are introduced around 6 months. However, if your child is breastfeeding and is a year old or younger, they’ll likely still wake up hungry in the middle of the night.
At our daughter’s 9-month appointment, I told her pediatrician she woke up every night at midnight to breastfeed.
Do you know what he said to me? Most adults can’t go over five hours without something to eat, we can’t expect a baby to.
This was eye-opening for me.
Most adults can’t go over five hours without something to eat, we can’t expect a baby to.
You can safely stop nursing a healthy, breastfed baby at 12 months old. If you’re attempting to stop nursing a breastfed baby under 12 months old, you’ll have to supplement with formula or pump/bottle feed to ensure your child is getting enough calories. Always consult with your child’s pediatrician first before deciding to night wean.
Unless it’s something your child’s pediatrician is concerned about, try not to compare your child’s feeding and sleep habits to your friends’ children. Every child is different.
My insomniac baby is now a thoughtful, goofy 3-year-old who sleeps 12 hours through the night.
Let’s help you stop breastfeeding so you can get sleep too!
SLEEP TRAINING VS. NIGHT WEANING
To be clear, sleep training is NOT the same as weaning.
Sleep training provides your child the tools to create a foundation for good sleeping habits, for example, not nursing your child to sleep.
Weaning is getting a child accustomed to getting their food from a bottle (under 12 months) or cow’s milk (over 12 months) instead of their mother’s milk.
When deciding to sleep train or wean, the most important question you want to ask yourself is, how old is your baby?
I successfully sleep trained our daughter at 9 months old, and she still woke up two times in the middle of the night to breastfeed, which was perfectly normal!
To put things into perspective, our daughter was breastfed and bottle-fed (breastmilk and formula), and she still woke up for multiple night feedings over a year old. Do I think part of it was for comfort? One hundred percent and that’s why I sleep trained (again) while I weaned her off the night feedings at 13 months old.
At this point, she was drinking cow’s milk, so I knew it was safe. I tried to stop breastfeeding at 12 months but it took her a few weeks to get used to cow’s milk, and she also contracted a stomach virus around that time.
After night weaning and sleeping training again, our little nocturnal child slept 10-11 hours through the night.
BEST TIPS TO STOP BREASTFEEDING
-
Read a Children’s Book on Weaning
- For example, a great book on weaning a toddler from breastfeeding is called, Loving Comfort: A Toddler Weaning Story. Not only is breastfeeding a main comfort source for your child, but it can also become part of your identity as a mother. It can be an extremely emotional transition to decide to stop nursing. This book helps to explain to your child that you’ll still be there to comfort them, even when the milk is gone.
- About a week before you decide to stop breastfeeding, read your child a book on breast milk weaning to prepare your child for the change. Children understand more than we give them credit for.
More Books on How to Stop Breastfeeding to Read to Your Child:
Decrease Nursing Time
-
Begin weaning your breastfed baby off one nighttime feeding session. Weaning your child cold turkey at night may backfire. This is a big change!
- I did not use the 2 X 2 rule but I wish I had. When she woke for her first feeding around midnight, I just refused her the breast. It was very, very difficult.
- If your child is only nursing for 5 mins or less, first try doing what I did and phase out that feed completely.
- If your child is nursing for more than 5 mins, I recommend going with the 2 x 2 strategy above, especially if you’re already sensing this might be tough to get through.
STAND UP
- Do not sit where you nursed your child to sleep! Our daughter associated the rocking chair with breastfeeding, so I did not sit in that rocking chair, no matter how much my back ached from standing.
- Sometimes I’d sit on the ottoman for a break, but if your child is still trying to nurse wherever you sit, stand.
BACK TO THE BASICS
Remember the witching hour or the dreaded 4-month sleep regression? I know. You want to forget, but the tools you used then to settle your child are what you’re going to use now.
- There were nights she would cry on the floor. One night, I cried on the floor with her. I sat next to her, rubbed her back, and told her I know she was upset but Mama’s boobies were now closed for the night.
- Then I’d pick her up, rock her in my arms, and sing to her. If she thrashed and struggled to get out of my arms, I let her and repeated above.
- Soothing music didn’t work for our daughter, but she loves the song, “Gooey,” by Glass Animals. Try playing your child’s favorite song on a Bluetooth speaker as you rock her.
- If your child is turning the pages of a board book, try giving them a small one to look at in their crib. This didn’t work immediately but eventually became a distraction and comfort to her.
STAY CALM
This is the most important tool and the most difficult.
If you’re having a difficult time getting through this, how do you think your child feels? If you’re yelling and clearly frustrated, your child is going to have a hard time taking this next step.
You want them to have confidence in you that you know what you’re doing and everything will be okay. I let myself cry on the floor, but then I closed my eyes and took ten deep breaths.
TAKE DEEP BREATHS.
It might seem silly now but taking deep breaths signals to your nervous system that you need help. Deep breathing exercises may decrease stress and anxiety. The American Institute of Stress (AIS) says, “Deep breathing increases the supply of oxygen to your brain and stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system, which promotes a state of calmness.”
You’re also showing your child breathing is a tool they can use too. Children learn by imitation. Everything you do is laying a foundation for your child to be successful in handling their emotions.
My daughter gives me the side eye. Where did she learn that from? Me.
As I said before, weaning won’t be easy but in less than two weeks, my daughter was no longer waking up at midnight to eat.
It might seem silly now but taking deep breaths actually signals to your nervous system that you need help. Deep breathing decreases stress and anxiety.
I had to comfort and settle her for a (very long) week with different methods. When she was no longer screaming like a banshee or fighting to get to my breasts, I then went into my version of the Ferber method for the first waking.
After two days, she was sleeping 9-10 hours straight through the night!
TIP: If your child has previously taken a bottle, for the first couple of days, try replacing your boob with the bottle of milk. I know this might seem counterproductive, but your main goal right now is to stop her from feeding from YOU. I only did this as a last-ditch effort and sometimes it didn’t even work, but I wish I would have tried using the bottle more to help her ease into the change.
I worked on the second waking a week after, which was usually around 4:30 a.m., and immediately went into using the Ferber method. The second waking was MUCH easier to deal with.
If she woke up before 5:30 a.m., I did the Ferber method. If she woke up at 5:30 a.m. or later, we started our day but this was rare.
Since then, our daughter sleeps 10-11 hours every night, THROUGH THE NIGHT! I never thought this was possible!
What problems are you having as you’re weaning your toddler? Are you feeling mom guilt? Drop me a comment below!